The signs and symbols of vocation filled my dance card last week. Nieces and nephews graduated from high school, my son from college, my husband gave a commencement address and then joined me at a wedding.
On top of all this, in the middle of the week, I attended the Buechner Writing Workshop at Princeton Theological Seminary where the rare opportunity to swap stories and experiences with other like-minded folk affirmed me in my own sense of calling to write.
So why did I dream last night that I was driving on totally unfamiliar roads with no idea where I was going?
Perhaps it’s a characteristic of vocation that the moments of clarity are followed up with doubt and insecurity. Graduations and weddings mark mountaintop moments of promise, vivid vision, and confident celebration, but we always have to come down from the mountain.
C S Lewis illustrates this phenomenon well in his Narnian chronicle, The Silver Chair. The great Lion, Aslan, (the Christ figure) confronts the heroine on a mountaintop and charges her with a very specific task, with only four signs to use as guideposts on this adventure. Then, as he sends her on her way, Aslan reminds her:
“Here on the mountain I have spoken to you clearly: I will not often do so down in Narnia. Here on the mountain, the air is clear and your mind is clear; as you drop down into Narnia, the air will thicken. Take care that it does not confuse your mind. And the signs which you have learned here will not look at all as you expect them to look, when you meet them there. That is why it is so important to know them by heart and pay no attention to appearances. Remember the signs and believe the signs. Nothing else matters.”
From day to day, God always has jobs for us to do, but the Lord also has a larger vision for our lives that combines, as Buechner describes, our “deep gladness and the world’s deep hunger.” This vocation that we catch glimpses of while we’re on the mountain with God, can look very illusory when we’re “back to normal.”
That is why we must remember and trust the signs: our gifts that, when engaged, make our hearts soar within us. It may not often be clear where they are pointing. Some obvious roads will even yield dead ends. No matter! We follow a mighty Guide who will not lead us astray, and will use even our missteps to get us where we need to go.
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